Renewed Hope

Whew! This holiday season has been the BUSIEST EVER! So Christmas Eve, I thought I was ovulating but then I got sick over Christmas which is known to delay ovulation. I started feeling better over the weekend and on Sunday, I got another "Peak" reading on my Clear Blue Digital Ovulation predictor test kit. So Monday morning I called the RE and we went in for an ultrasound that afternoon. The nurse practitioner said that I had not ovulated and gave me a prescription for Ovidrel 250 µg to do that afternoon. We went immediately to Safeway and got the medication. The pharmacist informed me that if I was not going to be taking the shot immediately that it needed to be refrigerated. AHHH! We were an hour and half away from home!! How were we going to refrigerate it?! Well, I had Jay give me the injection in the parking lot of Safeway and off we went with our day. The kids got to spend some time (and lots of money, Thank you Grandpa Orzeck!!) at Toys R Us! Then I started feeling sick so we went home.

The next morning, we got up early and made the drive back out to Tucson to do the IUI. It was uncomfortable but not horrible. The sample Jay gave was not the greatest but we went on with the IUI and hopefully we'll know in a few weeks if it worked or not. The IUI was with a post-wash sample of 3.5 million with 99% motility. It's not what I was expecting so I was rather disappointed yesterday but today I feel as though my hope is renewed and that we have as good a chance this month as we have any other time we successfully got pregnant. Now the wait begins but after the last few weeks I've had, I'm thankful to be in the "sit and wait" time frame. It's relaxing and less stressful. The only thing I feel like I'm missing is a beach with a warm summer day! LOL

FYI, if this cycle is successful, I'll be due September 23rd (ish)

WOOO!

Until next time,

Breath of fresh air!

   I get a phone call about one my prescriptions. Turns out the clinic forgot to fax over the script and during the phone call the gentleman told me that it was going to be $1432 for the medication. YIKES! So I call the clinic upset because I was told it was $35 for the medication when it was really $35 PER vial! That's a big difference. 

At least I was thoughtful enough to ask what the results of the sample Jay left to be frozen yesterday were.

His sperm count is 37 million with 43.2% motility. Which is AMAZING. We had thought he had scarred over!! Now he's got numbers better than anything we've seen!! 

WHICH MEANS WE DO NOT HAVE TO DO IVF!! Yay! The doctor called in a prescription of clomid and we'll do an IUI during my next cycle. If this doesn't work then I don't mind moving forward to IVF eventually but I'd rather not spend that kind of money if we don't need to.

The beginning of our IVF journey

  Yesterday we had our first appointment to start our IVF cycle. I received four medications. That turned into a debacle trying to get those scripts filled. Which then made me realize that once I start these meds, I'm going to be 100 times worse. I'm going to be given hormones to stimulate my cycle. I feel pity on my husband, my children and any poor soul I encounter in the next 30-45 days. Please pray for them, and me. lol 

   All this stuff starts next week, I have an appointment scheduled for the first day of my cycle. Then, hopefully they will explain to me how all of these medications work, how to take them and when to take them.  I'm feeling very confused and out of the loop on how this all works. The staff doesn't give a whole lot of details on what's happening and how it all works. Hopefully, they will at least explain the drugs and how to take them, when to take them and the appointments we have to make at our next appointment when my cycle starts. Until then, I'm reading what I can online.
   I found this general chart of the flow of IVF. This is helpful because now I have a general timeline. Thank goodness for the internet right?! 

Synarel/Lupron
(Approx. 12-15 days)

Baseline Ultrasound

Stimulation
(Approx. 10-12 days)

Trigger Shot

Egg Retrieval
(36-37 hours after trigger shot)

Embryo Transfer
(3-5 days after retrieval)

Pregnancy Test
(14 days after retrieval)

Ultrasounds
1st - Approx. 6 ½-7 weeks pregnant
2nd - Approx. 7 ½ - 8 ½ weeks pregnant
Release to OB at 8-10 weeks pregnant

The chart and any other information can be found here.

So as long as my cycle starts on time (C'mon Dec 19th!!), my time line is looking like we'd be able to find out if we're pregnant on Feb 1st or so. 

The more I read into this process, the more real it becomes. Let's pray one cycle is all we need! I'm feeling nervous, anxious and scared. At the same time, I'm excited, happy and can't wait to find out if this works. Is it too soon for baby names?? LOL 

Until next time,

IVF Pros & Cons List

Well the results came back and Jay's hormone levels are fine, which is good and bad. Good because he's healthy, YAY! Bad because it's his hormones which is something that could be corrected.

The sample he gave had sperm though none were moving but they were able to freeze two vials. These aren't good enough for IUI so this month is a bust. Next cycle I can start clomid (or similar) to stimulate ovulation so they can harvest eggs for IVF. Since the sperm are non-motile, we'll have to do IVF with ICSI. Which means that instead of putting my egg and some sperm in a dish and let the sperm try to fertilize the egg, they'll have to take a single sperm and inject it into the egg under a microscope. Then we wait to see if the eggs fertilize and then they transfer them to me and we hope they implant.

Here are some of the pros and cons of IVF.... it's not our only option but it's the one I'll focus on today. Tomorrow, Jay or I will discuss the pros and cons of another option.

Pros of IVF w/ICSI (If it works)
We get to...
experience pregnancy together.
experience the birth together.
biological child.
know the medical history of the family.
pick out names together.

Cons of IVF w/ICSI
We ...
spend thousands of dollars trying ($5550-6100 per try with military discount)
don't have a guarantee that it will work (42.5%-50% depending on the doctors success rate)
might experience failed pregnancies
have possible side effects of medications (clomid has side effects of being highly hormonal while on it)
might not get pregnant.

In the end it is a decision we have to decide on together as a couple and maybe even as a family. As of right now, Jay and I are leaning more towards IVF w/ICSI over adoption or any other route but there is a lot that goes into deciding, including how we would afford it. If you would like, there is a donate button the the right of the blog, feel free to click it and help us out with our saving for IVF.

Until next time,

Putting it on Hold

This past Thursday, we decided to scope. Now before the judgement on scoping comes in, here is a link that explains how to do an at home semen analysis. So that's what we did. I've become a pro since the reversal because we can only get a professional analysis done every few months.

Back to this Thursday, we scoped a sample. Now my microscope isn't the best but I typically can see swimmers, good and bad plus the dead ones. This time it was all dead. We hoped it was just a bad sample and decided to wait til Saturday to try again. Yesterday we scope again, nothing. All dead. Thousands of little dead sperm everywhere, not a single one wiggling or swimming. Now we didn't do anything different this time than we've done the times before when we saw sperm so I don't think it was our inexperience that caused them to die before looking at them on the scope. I'm hoping that it's just the effects of a few mistakes Jay made this past month. The night of excessive drinking, the slip of memory about the hot tub and possibly his constant caffeine intake but it's hard for me to logically believe that those few things could cause someone to go from 19mil/mL with 31.6% swimming to 0% swimming. 

I called the RE office on Friday in hopes of getting some advice or possibly an official SA done but they never returned my call. I will try again tomorrow in hopes of getting a hold of someone to schedule an appointment. But for now, we're out. I don't really see the point in trying this month. I don't want to go through the agony of trying and hoping to find out it didn't work. I'm going to continue to chart so I can build up the data on my body to make sure everything continues to work properly. Hopefully this month will be a nice break from the stress of trying.

I mostly wrote this to let you all know that this month and subsequently next month are probably out. Then Jay leaves until December for school so we won't be trying probably until December, if his sperm returns. I wish all of you luck in your TTC journey, if that's where you are and the rest of you luck in life in whatever you are facing at this point in time. Don't let the bad over shadow the good. 

Until next time,

Fertility Specialist Appointment Update

Well, it took a little longer than we had expected to get the referral through so we had to reschedule our first appointment with the Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE). So a few days after cancelling the appointment, we get our referral approval in the mail and we were able to schedule our appointment for August 8th.

Yesterday morning we dropped Jayson off to school and headed to Tucson where the RE's office is. We get there about 30 minutes early, fill out our paperwork and get called back. We sit in a little consult room for about 15-20 minutes before the doctor comes in. He was very nice, listened to us talk and went over our history and concerns with us. Then he went over his plan of action. Since the first day of my last cycle was July 9th, he decided I should do a pregnancy test there in the office to see if I was pregnant before we proceed forward. He also ordered another SA on Jay.

The doctor's plan of action is that if we don't get pregnant on our own in a few months, we will try an IUI with clomid. I don't think he actually gave a time line for when we'll do it. I think 6 months but again, I don't remember him saying a specific time line. In the discussion he mentioned 3-4 months and 6 months but I can't remember if either of these were our time line. He said his biggest concern is to make sure we get pregnant before DH has the chance to scar over or before his counts start to decrease. The doctor wants to continuously monitor Jay to make sure everything is going well but if we see a few SAs that show his numbers declining, the doctor will fast track us to the IUI.

The SA yesterday was much better than last months so I'm happy about that! The SAs were about 3 weeks apart.
             Last Month                               This Month                      Changes
Count    5.2 mil/mL                                 19 mil/mL                        +13.8mil/ml
Motility  20%                                          31.6%                             +11.6%
Morph   90% abnormal                           50% abnormal heads       -40% abnormalities
pH         8.5                                            8.0                                  -0.5
WBC     Not tested                                 0

I'm very pleased to see the improvements across the board. This is very promising and if the improvements keep getting better I have a feeling we'll be pregnant in 2 or 3 more cycles. Unfortunately we only have 2, maybe 3 more cycles before Jay leaves for WOCS for a month. But we can pick right back up in December when he returns.

My blood pregnancy test came back negative but it's quite possible that the numbers just weren't good enough two weeks ago. I'm not late for my period yet. I'm not expecting it until Monday or Tuesday. Yesterday I was 11 days past ovulation. Not trying to say I'm pregnant and the blood test was wrong, but there is a slim possibility. I'm not holding my breath though. I'm just not the type of person that can ignore facts.

Since I believe the blood test is probably acurate, I had a nice big glass of wine last night. It was my first drink since the 4th of July and it was DELICIOUS! lol I think I might need to indulge a little bit more often so I don't feel so deprived of so much. I've been so good while trying to conceive that it's actually starting to stress me out which I believe is probably more harm to the cause than some of things I've cut out. So no more stressing (I'm gonna try) and more relaxing! Just gotta find the ways.

We left the doctor's office after we gave our samples but with out any guidance as to when to schedule our follow up. So Jay called yesterday and the doctor was out on an emergency, (What kind of emergency could a fertility doctor have?) and the office staff said to call back to schedule when I started my period. Alright... but why? What are we doing? I'm so confused. Not that the doctor was confusing but because I forgot to ask when we left the office and that was my bad. Ugh. So hopefully we'll get some answers today.

On to cycle #3 of trying! I'm going to take a new approach to the whole thing this time. Relaxation, no stressing out about getting pregnant. I'm sure I'll stress but hopefully about everyday things like school work and bills instead of pregnancy tests and ovulation kits! lol

Until next time!

New doctors and Fertility Specialists

Last week was rough. Jay had his SA, the numbers weren't great and his doctor didn't have any insight for us at all. There was a referral put in, referral denied by the case manager, Jay fought with her and finally got everything ironed out. Well, today we received the referral in the mail. It's been APPROVED!

Since the referral is for an office in Tucson, we're going to try to get an appointment for after August 7th so that way Jayson will be in school and we'll only have to worry about Eli being in child care. We'll probably put him in hourly care while we make the trip up for the appointment. Hopefully we will have some answers after seeing Dr. Gelety at The Arizona Center for Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility. 

Today is Jay's 30th birthday but we celebrated this past weekend. We really had fun with our friends and it was nice to hang out and not think about getting pregnant for an afternoon. But of course after everyone left we were back to obsessing about it all.

I should be ovulating soon which means after that, we'll just be waiting around to find out if we "caught the egg"! This month seems to be dragging on far slower than last month but at the same time, it seems more relaxed to me. I don't know if Jay feels the same way but we're just enjoying ourselves and hoping it works out for the best.

This month, we've been discussing the possibility of twins a lot more. Yesterday I was even wracking my brain to think of 2nd names if there were twins. I don't know why it's on my mind as of lately but it really is stuck there for the time being. I think it'd be fun and exciting. Something new and challenging for me to conquer. I don't think it'll be easy but I do think it's something out of the ordinary and I like the idea of that. I'm always looking for new challenges though this isn't one I get to decide on. 

In the end, I just hope for a happy, healthy pregnancy and baby or babies. Everything else in between and after will sort itself out in due time. 

Now please excuse me while I check for the 2nd time today for an ovulation LH surge...

Emotional Free-Style

So here I am wondering what the subject for this blog should be. I think that I’m going to just free style the whole thing, so if I tend to ramble, please forgive me.

The last couple weeks have been both a physical and emotional roller-coaster…to say the least. Let’s start at the beginning. Last week I go in for a semen analysis, and guess what…they jacked it up. Turns out the nurse who put the order in only put me in for a sperm count. Now don’t get me wrong, at least the count let us know that all my hoses are connected and allowing sperm through. The only thing is…we can’t tell how healthy they are without a full analysis. So at this point, I need a full work up, but the individuals I spoke with said that they don’t do those on fort Huachuca. Well that ended up being a crock, and do you know who ended up hooking it all up, a private second class in the army…not a nurse or a doctor, so PV2 So and So, I thank you. Then I go in for the full work up, and let me get this out there real quick…some may think that all of this “providing a specimen” may be cool for a guy, but it’s not. It’s one of those things where if you’re being put on the spot and being told you HAVE to do it, it has no appeal. So I get the full work up done, and guess what…my numbers SUCK! Now the cool thing about Traci is, if she thinks something got jacked up, she’ll do what she can to prove it. Now at this point, if you would like to read the details about the arguments and whatnot that took place, feel free to read Traci’s post discussing it, I will fast forward to her pure awesomeness. She decides we should do our own scope. So once again I provide the “study material”, and she puts her lab coat on and gets to work. She of course sees swimmers right away…and a BUNCH of them. The last count I had received was 5 million, where 20 is the minimum norm. She goes through the process to do her own count, and you know what she gets? 52 million (approx). So automatically she believes that someone at the lab screwed up a decimal point. 

Needless to say, I’ve had my fill of the medical staff here. From nurses who can’t relay a simple message, to doctors that don’t know their ass from their elbow, and ESPECIALLY this case manager lady who doesn’t seem to want me to seek out the medical I need. I know Traci feels more strongly about all this than me, and I’m sorry for turning this into a venting session, but its how I feel at this very moment. 

So now we are waiting to go to Tucson to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist guy who is willing to actually help us out a little. We are excited, and hope that things continue to move in a positive direction. If they don’t I feel that me and Traci (sorry hun, I meant Traci and I) will just have to crack some skulls. Metaphorically of course.

til next time,

Jay

Results & Options

The results came back yesterday and while they are low, I know that it's still early. The biggest concern I have is the drastic change in the count. On Tuesday, July 9th, Jay's count was at 26 million per mL which is with in the normal range of 20-200 million per mL. Yesterday, the results came back with a count of 5.2 million per mL. There are many things that may have caused this change. Drinking, lack of ibuprofen, caffeine and many other unhealthy habits that contribute to the over all health of a person. The ibuprofen is suggested after a VR because of the swelling, even after it seems/feels healed, swelling can cause a lack of sperm from being let through. So there are things we are going to work on at home.

Here are the results from yesterday: 

Count: 5.2 million per mL
pH: 8.5  (normal >7.2)
Motility: Minimal forward progression 
Motility: 20% (normal >50%)
Volume: 2.0mL (normal 2.0mL)
Morphology: 91% abnormal (normal 0-20 *I'm not sure what this means*)


These aren't great numbers. So Jay called his PCM yesterday to be told by a very rude receptionist that the lab shouldn't tell patients to call their PCM for explanation of results because doctors are busy and can't drop what they're doing to go over every lab result with patients. From my understanding, that's part of the doctor's JOB! Aren't they supposed to go over lab results with you, especially if they are BAD results?? I understand that the doctor was probably busy THAT moment when Jay called but seriously, she could have just said that the doctor was busy and would call him back to discuss the results at his earliest convenience. 

Well anyway, Jay calls this morning to schedule an appointment to speak with the doctor in case calling doesn't get him anywhere.  After he scheduled his appointment, he called and left a message with the nurse to call him back to discuss the results. The nurse called him back and read the notes in the file with the lab results. The doctor is going to refer Jay to a specialist. The two types of specialists that were mentioned were a Urologist or a fertility specialist. At this point, I feel as though the PCM is out of his depth with this case and doesn't know where to go, which is fine, not all doctors can be specialists in ever arena but I'm glad to know that this doctor knew when to pass the case. 

Now we wait for the case manager to call Jay with his options for specialists. Once he has the info he can start making phone calls to schedule an appointment with the new doctor(s). I'm not sure if he/we will see one specialist or both specialists, which specialist it'll be if it's just one but at this point, having someone familiar with reversals and infertility is going to be beneficial to our journey. Hopefully the next update is better.

Until next time,
Traci