We haven't posted in almost a month and that's because there hasn't been anything to update. Jay calls Madigan Army Medical Center every Monday to find out where he is on the wait list and so far every single Monday he finds out that the list hasn't moved at all.
Though this week we did find out that we will be stationed in Hawaii come next year. So now I'm looking at birthing options in Hawaii. I hear that Tripler Army Medical Center is VBAC friendly but I'm assuming it's as VBAC friendly as some of the other hospitals I've found. They do them, in very perfect and selective conditions. Though I have found another option for a home birth on Oahu, HI though the cost is higher than I'm used to. I gotta get used to this "everything costs more in Hawaii" thing. It will be worth it if I end up being able to have the birth I desire.
I just hope our housing is large enough for me to labor in a birthing tub. I was kind of hoping to find something with a large garden tub but nothing in Hawaii is large except for prices! And if I got a house off post that I'd want to live in, we'd be paying more than we could afford. I'd much rather pay for a midwife and a home birth over a larger home. Housing looks fairly nice and if we have a 3rd, we'd more than likely qualify for a 4th bedroom. I just hope we can get pregnant before we get over there. It would even be nice to have the baby over here before going over there. But that's just me being hopeful!
Until Next Time
<3 Traci
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Excitement in Waiting
Well, I am officially on Madigan’s waitlist for my
procedure! I know Traci already posted on this, but I wanted to share just how
excited I am about this whole thing. Its takes me making steps forward in a
situation like this for it to feel real. Although we still have many other
things that need to fall into place, we are moving in the right direction. I feel
like the worst part is behind us and I truly feel that we can only move forward
from here. With our limited timeline, and the timeline Madigan gave us, it
appears that I will have my procedure completed prior to me leaving for WOCS! Even
if we don’t have ample time to get pregnant prior to my school, the hardest
part will be complete, and we will be able to try any time after that.
Now we get into what I consider the “fun part”, and believe
it or not, its looking through all the different things that we will need to
get for the baby once we conceive. Everything from co-sleepers, to strollers,
to clothes. All of these things make this whole experience seem like its coming
to us at a faster pace. I guess that things like that, and planning our pending
PCS help this whole waiting period not seem too mundane. I guess anything to
help pass the time.
Today Elijah started back up at school and his teachers gave
him nothing but praise when I came to pick him up. I was honestly worried about
him going back, especially with how he can act at home. I really couldn’t be
more proud of that little guy, and its these kind of events that make me
excited about another child. I was able to relive the moments I had with
Jayson, through Eli, and now I’ll be able to relive those moments again with
our future child. I can’t express the joy this thought brings me.
Well, I know this has been one of my shorter posts, but I just
wanted to give you all my update, and thank you all again for reading these
posts. Once again, it means the world to Traci and I.
Til next Time,
Jay
Slow and Steady Wins the Race
Yesterday, we called to find out where we were on the wait list. We got a whole bunch of info, from where we are on the wait list, how long it should take us to get called, to how they deal with calling locals vs non-locals for cancellations. It was all very interesting and sounded as fair as they could be.
First of all, we're 21 out of 25 on the list. The scheduler said it would take about 4-6 months with being that position. I think we will call once a week to find out what position on the list we are. We also informed them we are willing to take cancellations and could come up with little notice. That's when they explained that they call locals on the list when they have a few days to a few hours notice because they don't have to worry about as much travel time to get there. Now if they have a few or more days notice to call people for the cancelled appointment, they give out of town patients on the wait list first dibs. I feel this is fair as I'm sure there are quite a few last minute cancellations and the locals get called quite often. Either way, the list is moving and eventually we'll be at the top with a week or so notice to get up there. As much as I'd love to be called for a cancellation, I don't really mind WHO get's called as long as those appointments are being filled and the line is progressing. Back in February they did 15 surgeries that month. Hopefully, they'll keep up a similar pace and we'll be called in 3-4 months.
Our current schedule of events fits nicely into that 4-6 month window, if we are able to get called before that 6th month is up. As of yesterday, 4-6 months would be early August to early October. Jay leaves for WOCC late October so it could work out perfectly, if he gets seen with in that time frame. Of course if he goes in August, he'll be all healed and we might even have the opportunity to try for a cycle or two before he leaves. If we get pregnant before he leaves, we could have another summer baby. So I'll either be ready to pop over a move or moving with a newborn. Eh, it sounds do-able to me!
I just have to wait for that phone call that Jay has a date for surgery and see where it all goes. I'm sure something will end up not perfect but if we're able to get this surgery done, I'll be happy! Timing won't matter as much anymore, unless there is a deployment on the horizon. With our luck, we'll get word that Jay's deploying and then 2 weeks later I'll find out I'm pregnant. How many babies can we possibly have while he's gone? Maybe we'll be able to avoid another deployment baby and have an R&R baby. If there is even any R&R to get pregnant during. Only time will tell. With the draw downs, I'm sure we're not as likely to have deployment babies as we were in the past.
I'll give you guys another update when there is something new to update you with! :)
Until Next Time!
<3 Traci
First of all, we're 21 out of 25 on the list. The scheduler said it would take about 4-6 months with being that position. I think we will call once a week to find out what position on the list we are. We also informed them we are willing to take cancellations and could come up with little notice. That's when they explained that they call locals on the list when they have a few days to a few hours notice because they don't have to worry about as much travel time to get there. Now if they have a few or more days notice to call people for the cancelled appointment, they give out of town patients on the wait list first dibs. I feel this is fair as I'm sure there are quite a few last minute cancellations and the locals get called quite often. Either way, the list is moving and eventually we'll be at the top with a week or so notice to get up there. As much as I'd love to be called for a cancellation, I don't really mind WHO get's called as long as those appointments are being filled and the line is progressing. Back in February they did 15 surgeries that month. Hopefully, they'll keep up a similar pace and we'll be called in 3-4 months.
Our current schedule of events fits nicely into that 4-6 month window, if we are able to get called before that 6th month is up. As of yesterday, 4-6 months would be early August to early October. Jay leaves for WOCC late October so it could work out perfectly, if he gets seen with in that time frame. Of course if he goes in August, he'll be all healed and we might even have the opportunity to try for a cycle or two before he leaves. If we get pregnant before he leaves, we could have another summer baby. So I'll either be ready to pop over a move or moving with a newborn. Eh, it sounds do-able to me!
I just have to wait for that phone call that Jay has a date for surgery and see where it all goes. I'm sure something will end up not perfect but if we're able to get this surgery done, I'll be happy! Timing won't matter as much anymore, unless there is a deployment on the horizon. With our luck, we'll get word that Jay's deploying and then 2 weeks later I'll find out I'm pregnant. How many babies can we possibly have while he's gone? Maybe we'll be able to avoid another deployment baby and have an R&R baby. If there is even any R&R to get pregnant during. Only time will tell. With the draw downs, I'm sure we're not as likely to have deployment babies as we were in the past.
I'll give you guys another update when there is something new to update you with! :)
Until Next Time!
<3 Traci
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Sunshine on a Rainy Day
We can all only imagine what a family goes through in tough
times. Some are more severe than others, but regardless of the situation, we
try and be there for all parties involved. We listen to stories, try and give
our “expert” advice, and just do anything we can to support where we can. A big
way people have supported Traci and I has been reading this blog and
continually making sure we’re doing well, and encouraging us to keep trucking
on, even when things look grim.
If you have been following us recently, you know that we
have ran into numerous road blocks on our journey to extend our family. Everything
from referrals getting screwed up, to finding out some options aren’t feasible for
our family, to thinking that this ultimately will not happen. Well let me just
say that the Lord works in mysterious ways.
A couple weeks ago, it seemed like this whole thing really wasn’t
going to happen. Traci and I were eating at Chilis discussing what we should
try and do next. As the conversation drew to a close, we decided that we would
put a time limit on how long we would continue trying to find ways to make this
all work. Once that was decided, I became very fearful that another child just
may not be in the cards. And I really was quite sad about it all.
Then Traci, in her infinite wisdom, suggested that I approach
patient advocacy about the referrals getting messed up. And guess what. As usual,
her idea played out in our favor! My referral was overruled and switched to
Madigan Army Hospital. So now I am on a wait list and anxiously waiting for
that phone call to come in. I am now feeling like we finally have a foot in the
door. Traci and I even discussed what I would do if I got a call to have the
procedure during our trip to Vegas. Well, needless to say we both agreed that
this is a once in a blue moon type opportunity and we can plan another Vegas
trip to include myself sometime down the road.
So we’re in it to win it now folks and I cannot thank you
enough for the continued support. Please keep reading and commenting, because
it means the world to our family.
Jay
Monday, April 1, 2013
One Step Closer
Jay called Madigan AMC at Fort Lewis this morning to find out if they had received his referral yet. They did! YAY! Thank goodness! I was so nervous that a repeat denial would happen. After being burned once, it's hard to trust that all will work out perfectly the second go-round.
While speaking with the Urology department at Madigan, he asked what the wait list looked like now. Our information was outdated since we received our information over a month ago. He was informed that the wait list was about 6 to 9 months long but due to cancellations, we could receive a call in as little as 30 days from now. Since Madigan is probably the largest location with the most frequent surgeries done, a lot of people tend to get on the wait list there and then cancel due to PCS, TDY, change of heart or deployments. (PCS - Permanent Change of Station, TDY - Temporary Duty Assignment)
How that works is that when the surgery scheduler calls to schedule surgery for the next patient in line and they have to cancel or postpone, the scheduler then calls the next person in line until they reach someone who can come for the next available surgery. Let's say there are 60 patients on the waiting list. They call #1 and he can't come to that scheduled surgery but wants to remain on the list. So they call down the line until #25 says that he can make it to the scheduled surgery. All the patients from #1-24 remain and everyone from #26 down to #60 move up one slot. If #1 drops out, the same happens except everyone from #2-24 move up one, and everyone from #26 to 60 move up two.
We've been informed that if we receive a call, we could have as little as a week or a few days to get out there for the surgery. So it looks like we'll be saving as much money between now and when we receive that call. We have even agreed that he would miss out on our family vacation scheduled for May if they call him with a date that would interfere.
If he does receive a call in the next 5 months and we're able to get pregnant right away (slim chance), I would be able to have the baby here, which I've already had a couple people giving me information on local OBs and home birth Midwives. I would love to have a baby here! So many important people here that I'd want to meet my new bundle of joy! I'm starting to get off track here. Daydreaming about having the baby here. I suppose one can never been too prepared!
Until next time,
<3 Traci
While speaking with the Urology department at Madigan, he asked what the wait list looked like now. Our information was outdated since we received our information over a month ago. He was informed that the wait list was about 6 to 9 months long but due to cancellations, we could receive a call in as little as 30 days from now. Since Madigan is probably the largest location with the most frequent surgeries done, a lot of people tend to get on the wait list there and then cancel due to PCS, TDY, change of heart or deployments. (PCS - Permanent Change of Station, TDY - Temporary Duty Assignment)
How that works is that when the surgery scheduler calls to schedule surgery for the next patient in line and they have to cancel or postpone, the scheduler then calls the next person in line until they reach someone who can come for the next available surgery. Let's say there are 60 patients on the waiting list. They call #1 and he can't come to that scheduled surgery but wants to remain on the list. So they call down the line until #25 says that he can make it to the scheduled surgery. All the patients from #1-24 remain and everyone from #26 down to #60 move up one slot. If #1 drops out, the same happens except everyone from #2-24 move up one, and everyone from #26 to 60 move up two.
We've been informed that if we receive a call, we could have as little as a week or a few days to get out there for the surgery. So it looks like we'll be saving as much money between now and when we receive that call. We have even agreed that he would miss out on our family vacation scheduled for May if they call him with a date that would interfere.
If he does receive a call in the next 5 months and we're able to get pregnant right away (slim chance), I would be able to have the baby here, which I've already had a couple people giving me information on local OBs and home birth Midwives. I would love to have a baby here! So many important people here that I'd want to meet my new bundle of joy! I'm starting to get off track here. Daydreaming about having the baby here. I suppose one can never been too prepared!
Until next time,
<3 Traci
Friday, March 29, 2013
Hurry up and wait!
Yesterday, Jay got an email from his patient advocacy manager to let him know that the denied vasectomy reversal referral to Fort Lewis was overturned. The excuse they gave was that the cost of travel, lodging and food would have to come out of pocket. Uh... I was under the impression that we would have to pay for travel, lodging and food no matter where he went. Thankfully the patient advocacy already knew we were willing to pay to go where ever was best and explained this to the Col. who denied it in the first place.
So, they put in a referral yesterday for Fort Lewis. Hopefully in the next 6 months or so we will receive a call to schedule Jay's pre-op and surgery. Jay called Fort Lewis Urology Department today but they still haven't received the referral. He'll probably call again on Monday to check again and from there we'll play the waiting game. It's going to be a long and stressful time, I'm sure. But we'll try to not stress about it. We have so much other stuff going on that I'm worried that his time with come when he's not able to go and we'll have to wait longer.
Fortunately and unfortunately, he leaves for training in October. I say fortunately because this means he'll be working towards becoming a Warrant Officer but unfortunately because we have no idea when the phone call will come. He'll return from training early December but start another class here in AZ in January. Which means he won't be able to leave from January to March but again, we have no idea when this phone call will come and if this training schedule will interfere. All we can do is wait on the list and pray that it works out.
I want to start collecting baby stuff but I know it's still premature to do so. Plus we have no idea what we'll have. Though most people that know us believe we'll have another boy. lol Once we know when the surgery will be and where our next duty station will be, I can start planning out the birth. I'll have to do lots of research on the location, available service and costs. I'm going to fight for a natural birth as hard as I can. I just hope it won't be in vain.
You're welcome to leave any comments of support and love below!
You're welcome to leave any comments of support and love below!
<3 Traci
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Research & Comparison
At this point we have two options for getting pregnant. There is the Vasectomy Reversal or Sperm Retrieval and IVF or IUI. I've been doing some price comparison and some success rate comparison.
It's difficult to compare because the success rate of a reversal doesn't include the success rate of actually getting pregnant, IVF/IUI does. So a success rate for a reversal is about 93% but the success rate for pregnancy is around 50% which is comparable to the success rate of IVF or IUI.
The price for each is around the same but with the reversal it's $5,000-$10,000 for how ever many pregnancies we want to have. IVF or IUI is about $3,000-$9,000 per pregnancy. If we don't end up with multiples, we will probably go through it twice, which would double the cost. Most package costs I've seen for IVF or IUI is around $8,000-$9,000 but that's quotes based on infertility.
We aren't even sure if I'm infertile or have any fertility issues. Right now, our only road block is a vasectomy reversal. It might not take as many tries at IVF/IUI as it would a woman with actual infertility issues. Would that lower the costs? Would I have to go through the testing that another patient with infertility would have to go through? Would not needing the tests lower the cost? If we could get pregnant at an IVF or IUI clinic for around $3,000-$4,000 then the price would be better than what we were quoted for a reversal. It's less money out of pocket at one time, which can make a huge difference in decision making. It's a lot of decisions to make. I think it's time that I saw a doctor about my options. I'm due for my yearly check up anyway so it comes at a perfect time.
Has anyone dealt with these types of procedures before? IVF/IUI or Vasectomy Reversal, both not being covered by insurance and had to be paid out of pocket? I know the only way to get accurate answers is through seeing the doctor but I'd like to have an idea of which path to take before hand just so we can do our research and know if we will follow through before wasting our time and/or money.
This could be all for nothing. We PCS next spring and then we can switch providers, possibly opening up new locations for our referral. We could get stationed at Fort Lewis, and be able to get on the wait list up there, but I don't want to waste this time when we could be waiting on a wait list. I'm frustrated by it all and want things to happen NOW but I know I don't have absolute control. I can only pray and try my hardest for things to work out the way I want. I'm not giving up. I still really want this.
<3 Traci
It's difficult to compare because the success rate of a reversal doesn't include the success rate of actually getting pregnant, IVF/IUI does. So a success rate for a reversal is about 93% but the success rate for pregnancy is around 50% which is comparable to the success rate of IVF or IUI.
The price for each is around the same but with the reversal it's $5,000-$10,000 for how ever many pregnancies we want to have. IVF or IUI is about $3,000-$9,000 per pregnancy. If we don't end up with multiples, we will probably go through it twice, which would double the cost. Most package costs I've seen for IVF or IUI is around $8,000-$9,000 but that's quotes based on infertility.
We aren't even sure if I'm infertile or have any fertility issues. Right now, our only road block is a vasectomy reversal. It might not take as many tries at IVF/IUI as it would a woman with actual infertility issues. Would that lower the costs? Would I have to go through the testing that another patient with infertility would have to go through? Would not needing the tests lower the cost? If we could get pregnant at an IVF or IUI clinic for around $3,000-$4,000 then the price would be better than what we were quoted for a reversal. It's less money out of pocket at one time, which can make a huge difference in decision making. It's a lot of decisions to make. I think it's time that I saw a doctor about my options. I'm due for my yearly check up anyway so it comes at a perfect time.
Has anyone dealt with these types of procedures before? IVF/IUI or Vasectomy Reversal, both not being covered by insurance and had to be paid out of pocket? I know the only way to get accurate answers is through seeing the doctor but I'd like to have an idea of which path to take before hand just so we can do our research and know if we will follow through before wasting our time and/or money.
This could be all for nothing. We PCS next spring and then we can switch providers, possibly opening up new locations for our referral. We could get stationed at Fort Lewis, and be able to get on the wait list up there, but I don't want to waste this time when we could be waiting on a wait list. I'm frustrated by it all and want things to happen NOW but I know I don't have absolute control. I can only pray and try my hardest for things to work out the way I want. I'm not giving up. I still really want this.
<3 Traci
Monday, March 25, 2013
Disappointment
I haven't posted in a while and I apologize for that. We went on vacation with the boys for spring break and had a blast. After we got home, we got some disappointing news. Jay called Fort Lewis to find out where he was on the list and was told that they didn't receive his referral. So he then called his case manager back to find out what happened, she said that the referral was denied by the OIC of the clinic (or something similar) because Fort Bliss was closer to our current duty station so that was were he'd be referred with no changes. Which doesn't make any sense to me because we have to pay out of pocket for any travel expense so why would where the referral be matter to the military? If Fort Lewis can do the procedure quicker and has a frequent rate of surgeries which means a better surgeon with more experience, why would they deny our request for the better opportunity? I just don't get it. We are planning on speaking with Patient Advocacy to see what our options are. But still the news is disappointing. So if Patient Advocacy can't help us, we will have to explore our options outside of the military hospitals.
We could pay for the reversal ourselves, which when we called the place in Tucson that specializes in reversals, they gave us a quote of $7800 for the whole procedure.
We could see a doctor about sperm retrieval. If it's possible, what our success rate could be and if I'm even able to get pregnant. A big thing is we don't know the costs behind a sperm retrieval and IUI (intrauterine insemination) or IVF (In Vitro Fertilization). It might be cheaper and it might be more costly than a reversal. We will definitely have to weigh the costs, risks and success rates of each procedure and see what we are willing to go through for this to become a reality for us.
Tomorrow we have several phone calls to be made, from patient advocacy to urologists that preform sperm removal. Wish us luck! We're gonna need it!
<3 Traci
We could pay for the reversal ourselves, which when we called the place in Tucson that specializes in reversals, they gave us a quote of $7800 for the whole procedure.
We could see a doctor about sperm retrieval. If it's possible, what our success rate could be and if I'm even able to get pregnant. A big thing is we don't know the costs behind a sperm retrieval and IUI (intrauterine insemination) or IVF (In Vitro Fertilization). It might be cheaper and it might be more costly than a reversal. We will definitely have to weigh the costs, risks and success rates of each procedure and see what we are willing to go through for this to become a reality for us.
Tomorrow we have several phone calls to be made, from patient advocacy to urologists that preform sperm removal. Wish us luck! We're gonna need it!
<3 Traci
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Bad news, Changes and Good news!
Yesterday started out
rough but became better as we and the clinic staff here at Fort Huachuca, did
some research. Before I go too far in depth with everything, let me lay
out some of the information that we gathered BEFORE his PCM appointment. When I
found out that there are military doctors at some larger posts that preform
vasectomy reversals, we decided to see which posts had those doctors. We found
out that Fort Bliss (approximately 4 hours away) had a department and doctor
that did them so I told Jay about it and he made the phone call. During the
discussion we found out that we need a referral from a PCM to get this done and
that they didn’t do them often. Jay asked them if they had a waitlist and they
said NO, that there weren’t that many people in that area seeking vasectomy
reversals. So Jay scheduled his appointment with his PCM and last week his PCM
said that he’d put in his referral.
Well, yesterday started out with a routine follow up phone call to Tricare to see if they had received his referrals from his PCM. When he went to his appointment to get the referrals the doc said he would put two in, one for the Urology Department at Fort Bliss and a second for Tricare to send him to a local Urologist. Jay called Tricare to see if they had received the referrals and they hadn't received anything. Jay was starting to get frustrated. We waited a week to give time for the referrals to get to Tricare and all that time seemed to be just wasted. So Jay called his clinic to find out if the referrals were even put in. He gets a hold of a case manager and he tells his story all over again, what we want to do, when he saw the doctor, what the doctor said. She told him that the doctor's notes were vague so all they did was put in a referral to Fort Bliss which was accepted. She then gave Jay the number to Fort Bliss to start his process.
Then he calls Fort Bliss and they tell him they could set up an appointment for Monday, April 1st. Sweet!! Is this the appointment for the procedure or a consult?? The clinic lets him know this is just a consult. After the appointment on April 1st, you'll be put on a wait list. So he asks how long is the wait list, he is told there are 45 people already on the list and they don't do them very often. Well crud, that's not going to work. So he calls his clinic back and speaks with his case manager again. He explained what information he received from the clinic at Fort Bliss and she said she would do some research for him to see if there were any other options at other clinics in the area. The “area: consists of the entire West Coast! After a few hours, Jay called her back to see what she had found out for him. She had called San Antonio, Fort Sam Houston, in hopes that their waitlist wasn't as long as Fort Bliss, or if it was that they did the surgery more often. She found out that San Antonio has a similar waitlist and surgery frequency as Fort Bliss, so she called Madigan Army Medical Center at Fort Lewis, WA. This is where the good news comes in. Madigan does them rather regularly, weekly from what the case manager gathered and that while they aren’t sure the length of their waitlist, they do go through the list fairly quickly and that the time frame is anywhere from 2 weeks to 6 months to get the surgery done. So she asked Jay if he would like to be referred to Fort Lewis and of course we said YES!
If we have to use our savings to get to Fort Lewis at the last minute we’ll do so. We just hope that friends at Fort Lewis would be willing to help us if the moment arises. No sense in getting all worried about that yet, we have no idea when we’ll get the phone call.
<3 Traci
Well, yesterday started out with a routine follow up phone call to Tricare to see if they had received his referrals from his PCM. When he went to his appointment to get the referrals the doc said he would put two in, one for the Urology Department at Fort Bliss and a second for Tricare to send him to a local Urologist. Jay called Tricare to see if they had received the referrals and they hadn't received anything. Jay was starting to get frustrated. We waited a week to give time for the referrals to get to Tricare and all that time seemed to be just wasted. So Jay called his clinic to find out if the referrals were even put in. He gets a hold of a case manager and he tells his story all over again, what we want to do, when he saw the doctor, what the doctor said. She told him that the doctor's notes were vague so all they did was put in a referral to Fort Bliss which was accepted. She then gave Jay the number to Fort Bliss to start his process.
Then he calls Fort Bliss and they tell him they could set up an appointment for Monday, April 1st. Sweet!! Is this the appointment for the procedure or a consult?? The clinic lets him know this is just a consult. After the appointment on April 1st, you'll be put on a wait list. So he asks how long is the wait list, he is told there are 45 people already on the list and they don't do them very often. Well crud, that's not going to work. So he calls his clinic back and speaks with his case manager again. He explained what information he received from the clinic at Fort Bliss and she said she would do some research for him to see if there were any other options at other clinics in the area. The “area: consists of the entire West Coast! After a few hours, Jay called her back to see what she had found out for him. She had called San Antonio, Fort Sam Houston, in hopes that their waitlist wasn't as long as Fort Bliss, or if it was that they did the surgery more often. She found out that San Antonio has a similar waitlist and surgery frequency as Fort Bliss, so she called Madigan Army Medical Center at Fort Lewis, WA. This is where the good news comes in. Madigan does them rather regularly, weekly from what the case manager gathered and that while they aren’t sure the length of their waitlist, they do go through the list fairly quickly and that the time frame is anywhere from 2 weeks to 6 months to get the surgery done. So she asked Jay if he would like to be referred to Fort Lewis and of course we said YES!
If we have to use our savings to get to Fort Lewis at the last minute we’ll do so. We just hope that friends at Fort Lewis would be willing to help us if the moment arises. No sense in getting all worried about that yet, we have no idea when we’ll get the phone call.
<3 Traci
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
When is Enough, Enough?
A question that gets asked more than most is, “when is enough, enough?” This is also a question that gets asked regularly when discussing the number of children a family is planning to have. Well, as most of us know plans change.
As you probably already know, Traci and I have two wonderful sons. One who is six and the other three. When we first starting discussing the number of children we wanted to have, Traci had said that she would like to have an even number, that way the ages could be close enough together so that none of the children would feel like the odd kid out. Of course my stance was “I don’t care how many we have, I’ll be happy anyway.” Well fast forward to my return from my latest deployment. Eli was only a month old when I met him, and I couldn’t have been happier or more proud of Traci for making it through another birth without me there. It was only a matter of time before the question was to be asked. I can’t recall the exact day or even month, but after we moved to Georgia, we started to discuss the option of me getting a vasectomy. Now something that most people don’t know is that when Traci was getting ready to have Eli, she had asked me if I wanted her to get her tubes tied once she gave birth. This was a question that I didn’t feel ready for at the time. I told her no, because the thought of not being able to have kids any more made me feel a bit uneasy. So she didn’t. so now we are in Georgia, and the decision was made that I would go through the vasectomy surgery, and Jayson and Elijah would be our only two children.
The surgery itself was no big deal. I got awesome medication, and my doctor was amazing. People say how much it sucks, but truthfully, it wasn’t all that bad. I was in and out in a matter of just a couple hours, and I healed rather quickly. So the deed had been done. We were not going to have any more children….or were we?
Now here we are in good old 2013. Traci and I have decided that our family does not feel quite finished, and that we ARE going to have more children. Of course the first question that gets asked is “uh…haven’t you been snipped?” Why yes, yes I have. But through lots of communication and hours upon hours of research, we have found tons of information as it pertains to vasectomy reversals. Now you may ask “have you thought about adoption, or even other means to get pregnant?” Why yes, yes we have. But when it’s all said and done my opinion on the matter is this. When we have a child, I want it to be created by Traci and myself. I don’t want to have to put her through countless treatment sessions for some of the other options and I don’t feel right doing this any other way. Adoption would be a possibility, but in the end, I want Traci to be pregnant and I want to experience everything I have missed out on with her. Some may feel this is me being selfish, but this is our decision and we are a united front. We are moving forward in this direction, and we will continue to chronicle the progress.
So when it comes to kids, and the size of your family, when you ask yourself “when is enough, enough” you’ll know in your heart that the answer is _____.
Til Next Time,Jay
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