Saturday, February 21, 2015

Approaching 40 weeks pregnant

As I'm sure many people are wondering how I'm doing as I approach my 40th week of pregnancy, I'm over being asked. At 38 weeks, I deactivated my Facebook page and went silent for the most part. The constant question of if I've had the baby yet is really annoying and I was becoming irritable. As I get closer to my due date, people have taken to asking my close friends and family if I've had the baby yet. 

When did this stop being MY news to share? No, I have not had Parker yet. Please don't call or text my mom or husband (or anyone else) to ask if I have. We will tell the world when we are ready. I do understand that everyone is excited and trust me no one is more ready for this baby to be born than I am. But I am not just having another baby here, I am overcoming eight, yes...EIGHT years of birth trauma. I am gearing up to do one of the hardest yet most rewarding things I will ever do in my whole life. I don't need the constant questions or check ups. I need love, support and my peace. Almost exactly eight years ago I was taken down a path in my birth I wasn't mentally, emotionally or physically ready to go down. I spent several months with postpartum depression and I was on antidepressants after giving birth to Jayson. I am taking control of that path and changing the outcome this time. This takes so much mental and emotional energy on top of just being pregnant that I can't handle the constant questions, comments and concerns of the people peering in. I'm sorry I've shut you all out but I really have done so for my benefit. 

Maybe I'll have him tomorrow. Maybe I won't. When he's here and I am ready to share my story, don't for one second think you'll get out of hearing all about it. I am a sharer, some would say an over-sharer but this is one time in my life where I need the highest amount of privacy and consideration. 

Know that I love you all and I will be back to chat with you all soon. 

Until then, 

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