Thoughts and Pros & Cons of Adoption

Last Friday, the RE gave Jay a prescription for Prednisone. Today he was finally able to get this prescription filled and will start taking them tonight. I've heard varying stories as to the success of prednisone. Some say that it helped and they got pregnant after taking it. Some say it helped temporarily by reducing the swelling and some sperm were able to get through. Then some say that it didn't help at all because they had already scarred over. Because of this all being a huge gamble one way or another, Jay and I have differing opinions on what we feel we should do. He would like to wait to see if the meds work and I want to go ahead with IVF. Again, affording IVF is a concern and right now I'm not sure we can afford it with out financing.

Adoption is also one of our options that we've been discussing. There for a short while, it was on the top of our list. I did research on all of our options and the more appealing one became, the deeper my research would become on that subject.

Pros for Adoption

• Give someone a better life by opening up our family to them
• If we adopt through foster care, it's cheaper and less risky of losing our paid fees.
• No stressful and expensive medical procedures
• Choice of race, age, sex of child we're adopting

Cons for Adoption

• No pregnancy, no birth experienced together
• Potential unknown health or behavioral issues
• Very expensive if seeking infant adoption or overseas adoption
• Strenuous process - home studies, lots of paperwork and interviews
• Risk of child not bonding with us

Jay was completely on board for moving directly to adoption. I was more skeptical. The cost is very comparable to a round of IVF w/ICSI and the process could take months if not years to complete depending on our requirements for our potential child. State adoptions are typically cheaper while adoption agencies charge upwards of $20,000 per placement. With state adoptions, the children are typically older and a lot of them have siblings trying to be placed with them. With agency adoptions, there are more options of age, sex and race. I don't feel as though race is a huge priority of ours. I feel as though if adoption is the route we take, when we meet that child that is OUR child, it won't matter what their race is.

I'd say this is probably still an option in the running but I keep moving it up and down on our list. 

As of right now, I am fearful of the age gap between our next child and our current children. If we were to get pregnant now, there will be almost a 5 year gap between Eli and the baby and a 7 year gap between Jayson and the baby. If we adopt, we could be looking at a process that takes months to complete, but we could adopt a child close to our children's age. To set myself at easy about having a baby, I decided that I'd try for two babies so they'd be close in age together, but if we go with IVF that will be harder to do since it's so expensive. If we adopt we could try to adopt a set of siblings close to our boys' age. If we decide to do the reversal, it'll put us on hold for a little while before being able to have the surgery but the possibility of multiple children of our own conceived naturally is back on the table. I suppose I should do a bigger scale pros and cons list with all possible options so we can see what's more likely suitable for us.

I'm still leaning more towards IVF for now because I feel like it has better chances of working out for us and sooner. If you'd like to donate to help us either afford IVF or a reversal re-do, please click the link above or to the right of the blog. 

Thanks! 

Until next time,

Vasectomy Re-Do Pros and Cons

Another one of our options after Jay has scarred over, is to have another vasectomy reversal done. With his original reversal being a failure, I do not believe we would go through the military again. We called the International Center for Vasectomy Reversals to get an idea of how much we would have to pay for a re-do and before any discounts, their average charge is $9,800. Which is about $3,700 more than doing IVF but it gives us unlimited tries to get pregnant IF it works. None of these options are guarantees.

Pros for re-doing surgery

• One time fee for the surgery (unlike IVF which is paid every time we attempt to get pregnant)
• Unlimited tries at getting pregnant (if it is a successful surgery)
• Can possibly conceive naturally
• Less likely to need IVF
• If pregnancy is accomplished, we experience pregnancy and birth together.

Cons for re-doing surgery

• More expensive than one round of IVF ($9,800 before military discount for Surgery vs. $6100 w/ discount for IVF w/ ICSI)
• Jay has to go through surgery and recovery all over again
• We will have to wait until Jay is done with school in order to have surgery which means we can't do it until March
• Risk of failure - No guarantee.

Like I said, we're leaning more towards IVF w/ICSI but I wanted to write out the different pros and cons so that we (and all of you) could see what are the pros and cons to each option.

Jay if there are any pros or cons that you would like to add, please do so but in a different color so we can differentiate between my pros and cons and yours.

I encourage everyone to add comments of pros and cons that they may have thought of that we haven't. All suggestions are welcome but please know that it might not be a priority for us and might not change our minds. 

Until tomorrow!

IVF Pros & Cons List

Well the results came back and Jay's hormone levels are fine, which is good and bad. Good because he's healthy, YAY! Bad because it's his hormones which is something that could be corrected.

The sample he gave had sperm though none were moving but they were able to freeze two vials. These aren't good enough for IUI so this month is a bust. Next cycle I can start clomid (or similar) to stimulate ovulation so they can harvest eggs for IVF. Since the sperm are non-motile, we'll have to do IVF with ICSI. Which means that instead of putting my egg and some sperm in a dish and let the sperm try to fertilize the egg, they'll have to take a single sperm and inject it into the egg under a microscope. Then we wait to see if the eggs fertilize and then they transfer them to me and we hope they implant.

Here are some of the pros and cons of IVF.... it's not our only option but it's the one I'll focus on today. Tomorrow, Jay or I will discuss the pros and cons of another option.

Pros of IVF w/ICSI (If it works)
We get to...
experience pregnancy together.
experience the birth together.
biological child.
know the medical history of the family.
pick out names together.

Cons of IVF w/ICSI
We ...
spend thousands of dollars trying ($5550-6100 per try with military discount)
don't have a guarantee that it will work (42.5%-50% depending on the doctors success rate)
might experience failed pregnancies
have possible side effects of medications (clomid has side effects of being highly hormonal while on it)
might not get pregnant.

In the end it is a decision we have to decide on together as a couple and maybe even as a family. As of right now, Jay and I are leaning more towards IVF w/ICSI over adoption or any other route but there is a lot that goes into deciding, including how we would afford it. If you would like, there is a donate button the the right of the blog, feel free to click it and help us out with our saving for IVF.

Until next time,

Low Sperm Count, Cryobanks and New Options

First, the reason we saw the RE is because Jay had an SA done on Wednesday and his counts came back at 200,000 sperm with none of them moving. There could be any number of reasons that the sperm count is that low. Scarring is one of them. That's the one we're terrified of and the one that means that it's over. Low testosterone or abnormal FSH levels, both of these can be corrected by medication. Infection is another reason and corrected by antibiotics. The last, less likely to me, reason is that it's just an off day, week or month for Jay's sperm count and they'll be back soon. HA! I don't buy that for a second. I believe there is something going on and we need to do what we can, when we can to fix it. Hopefully it's one of the ones that can be corrected with medication and not it's not scarring over.

If it scars over, we are done trying naturally. We would have to have a re-do or an extraction, both of which are costly. An extraction means that we'd HAVE to do IVF w/ ICSI which costs $5550-6100 depending on where we do it (HI or AZ) and that does not include the cost of the extraction.

If we go the route of a re-do on the reversal, that will cost us around $9800 (before military discount, still waiting to hear back on that) but we'd get unlimited chances at trying if it is successful. But the cost is higher than IVF, and IVF is already really expensive.

Another option Jay and I have discussed is adoption. This seems more likely for us because I feel as though it's less risky financially. We wouldn't be paying for a roll of the dice, like with IVF.

Of course the RE told us not to worry yet, it is to soon to worry. He had blood drawn to test the testosterone and FSH to see if the are low and we'll go from there. Jay also gave a sample for preservation and if it's any good it'll be frozen but if not, it'll be disposed of. The doctor wants us to try IUI this cycle if the sample is good enough for it.  I go back on Friday for a follow up. The clinic said we'd find out next week if the sample was good and the results of the blood tests. Then we'll know if IUI is happening, if IVF is possible and if the sample was sent to the cryobank.

Right now, I'm still under the impression that the VR is scarring over and that we'll have to choose another route besides natural conception, be it IVF or adoption, or maybe we'll just be done. It's a lot to process and decide. We'll be deciding for a while I believe.

Putting it on Hold

This past Thursday, we decided to scope. Now before the judgement on scoping comes in, here is a link that explains how to do an at home semen analysis. So that's what we did. I've become a pro since the reversal because we can only get a professional analysis done every few months.

Back to this Thursday, we scoped a sample. Now my microscope isn't the best but I typically can see swimmers, good and bad plus the dead ones. This time it was all dead. We hoped it was just a bad sample and decided to wait til Saturday to try again. Yesterday we scope again, nothing. All dead. Thousands of little dead sperm everywhere, not a single one wiggling or swimming. Now we didn't do anything different this time than we've done the times before when we saw sperm so I don't think it was our inexperience that caused them to die before looking at them on the scope. I'm hoping that it's just the effects of a few mistakes Jay made this past month. The night of excessive drinking, the slip of memory about the hot tub and possibly his constant caffeine intake but it's hard for me to logically believe that those few things could cause someone to go from 19mil/mL with 31.6% swimming to 0% swimming. 

I called the RE office on Friday in hopes of getting some advice or possibly an official SA done but they never returned my call. I will try again tomorrow in hopes of getting a hold of someone to schedule an appointment. But for now, we're out. I don't really see the point in trying this month. I don't want to go through the agony of trying and hoping to find out it didn't work. I'm going to continue to chart so I can build up the data on my body to make sure everything continues to work properly. Hopefully this month will be a nice break from the stress of trying.

I mostly wrote this to let you all know that this month and subsequently next month are probably out. Then Jay leaves until December for school so we won't be trying probably until December, if his sperm returns. I wish all of you luck in your TTC journey, if that's where you are and the rest of you luck in life in whatever you are facing at this point in time. Don't let the bad over shadow the good. 

Until next time,

Follow Up with Specialist on 9/5/13

Well, This past Thursday I had a follow up with the specialist. To be honest, when they schedule the appointment, I wasn't entirely sure what I was going in for. During the previous appointment the Friday before, they had done blood work and an ultrasound to confirm ovulation and we discussed starting clomid next cycle to help us along. That's a whole other set of concerns of mine but we'll get to that later. Then they said to schedule an appointment for next Thursday and I assumed it was to go over the clomid, how to use it, when to use it and give me my prescription on top of checking my progesterone levels at 7dpo. Two birds, one stone... except I was wrong. It was ONLY to check my progesterone. I got called back by a nurse or lab tech, she took my blood and then told me they would call me with the results. WAIT WHAT?! I drove an HOUR and half ONE way to get blood drawn?! I could have done that in Sierra Vista! Ugh. So now I'm irked that they didn't discuss exactly what we going on and what I was coming in for. Looks like I'll be a little bit more persistent about what I'm scheduling when I schedule it instead of just doing what I'm told.

Now the clomid part, when we originally saw Dr. Gelety, we discussed trying for a few months and switching to IUI around the 6 month mark. When I came in for the ultrasound, Dr. Gelety was very busy and RNP Marta did the ultrasound and blood work. Then she said that she wanted to start me on clomid next cycle. Wait, huh? I thought we were trying for a few months and then going to IUI around the 6 month mark? Of course I didn't ask her because I don't think she knows what she's talking about. So now I have to call the office and speak to someone who can find out what Dr. Gelety wants us to do because as of right now my guidance is to call when my period starts to get my prescription of clomid. Logically it makes sense to put me on clomid for a couple cycles before trying IUI to see if giving Jay some extra eggs to aim for helps instead of going straight from natural to IUI but I feel in the dark since no one actually laid out this path before me and explained things. Fortunately, I'm smart enough to draw fairly logical conclusions as to why they're doing it but I would like to understand the thoughts and process the doctor is putting us on. I do really like Dr. Gelety and I don't really know Marta yet but I've heard some bad reviews about her. I don't foresee me really liking her and her approach. Hopefully I'll see Dr. Gelety only from here on out.

Today I am 9dpo and am anxious to find out if I'm pregnant. Aunt Flo should show no later than next Friday but I know I'll be testing between now and then. Wish me luck!

Until Next Time,